When people ask me what I do for a living, it’s tempting not to say something like: “Well, I manage SEM, SEO, PPC…and…well, other things with three-letter acronyms.”

Seriously. I have to bite my tongue not to have conversations like this with clients:

“Yes, sir. That’s right. We are fully prepared to handle all of your SEM needs. I was looking at the SERPs today and it appears that you could use a hefty dose of SEO to boost your rankings. At the SES convention I picked up some ideas that would be great for your firm. CPC? Oh, you mean PPC? CPC is so 1999. Yeah, I’d consider a revamp. Take a look at your keyword report QTR. I’ve noticed that your CPC is really high, and your CTR is down. Nah, don’t worry about your CPM. If you really want cutting edge I’d look into SMO, that’ll get you some serious exposure. Could you please hold for a sec, I’ll BRB.”

Gulp.